Sexual orientation and gender identity
Sexuality in humans is experienced in many varied ways.
I grew up in a very ‘heterosexist’ world (dominated by a heterosexual focus in all areas of life). This heterosexism still exists, despite our society being more aware of the wide diversity of sexual expression.
Whether you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, asexual or transgender, cross dressing, straight or any other sexuality, I believe you have the right to be yourself in your community without needing to explain yourself or to ‘define’ yourself for others.
I have met with a number of lesbian couples during my clinical sexology years, mainly to help with relationship issues. I see fewer gay men. This may be because there are alternative counselling services available elsewhere.
More commonly, I have met with many people who are exploring their sexuality generally. Often, they are not sure how to define themselves. It can be a relief when they hear me say that we don’t really need to have a fixed definition of out sexuality or sexual preferences. These may change and evolve over time anyway. I am always happy to explore questions of sexuality and sexual orientation with people.
I have counselled several dozen people contemplating gender ‘confirmation’ or reassignment. I have supported these people undergoing physical and psychological changes together with their partners to ensure a positive transition together with the care of the couple relationship. I do not arrange the specialist prescribing of transition hormones. However, I am well placed to understand the hormonal and medical factors impacting upon the person undergoing ‘transition’. I also have associations with specialists who can support me with any medical questions that emerge during counselling.
People who have experienced childhood sexual assault (CSA) often (but not always) find that they experience negative effects on their intimate relationships and sexual experiences. I have worked with many women and some men who have the story of sexual abuse in their pasts. Being experienced in this field, I understand that the effects of CSA usually need intensive therapy for a longer period. This can then become costly, even though it is very important help to seek.
If you are wondering about the role I could play in helping you with any sexuality concerns, I am happy to have a brief chat with you. Also, an initial consultation with me would be a valuable investment. I would be able to assess your needs and give you my thoughts about the best way to proceed to work through your concerns.